to all groups:
- spellcheck ,
then re-spellcheck then spellcheck the document.
- running
text in columns should always be left bound – align text left.
- text should
not sit too close to images or illustrations.
min 3mm apart.
- explain
your approach, the method of working, not just in a descriptive way but also
elaborate on the meaning: if you base your analysis on the experiences of a
group of individuals, whom do those individuals represent, whom do they stand
for? how can the individual experience be used as an indicator for the life of
the many.
remember
the quotes from chora, raoul bunschoten in the lunch lecture:
- to see something is to
exclude most other things. to frame is to focus on a particular thing, to
articulate a singular condition.
- take a small sample of
a city; cut a small section of its flux. watch the processes that create the
flux.
- miniscenarios are
written on the page of everyday life. the schematic structure of a miniscenario
links processes to operational fields.
- how to tell? scenarios
are narratives of urban possibilities, alternative realties, alternative
practices.
- scenarios need authors,
actors, agents and angels.
- identify conflicts.
they are the fertile ground of any intervention.
-
the conclusion is the genesis of the
vision, not only a description of the method or summary of what you have
done. you have to go further, formulate
a position, make a guess, take a risk and test it out. if it doesn't work, you
can change in the process. ask, what if .
. .
comments to the groups:
seeing the city through its people
suleman, leighton, manthata, ndlovu, mkhatshwa
p2+3: you are
missing an image of the cbd as immediate context of the rid here, the leap from
the regional map is too big and p3 does not show the morphology of the cbd. it
is important to see the rid as a piece of the something larger, the district
boundaries are administrative, not necessarily physical.
p4-18: it
would be great to illustrate the networks and spaces the people are part of.
you describe it in the text, but how effective could a diagram be that shows
billy and his shop, linked to urban genesis through the public space in front
of the shop and to mc donalds through the ablution (as an example). you could
create new linkages in the next stage and set up new conditions that change
situations that you consider necessary to change.
p19-21: the
history part seems to be slightly unconnected to the rest of the document. you
should use a historical perspective that is relevant for your project. maybe
look at it again once your vision is formulated. you might consider telling the
history as well through the eyes of the people (rissik, joubert et al). what
they and your protagonist have in common are, that they are all part of ‘city making’, in different roles. can you
use this for your vision? or later, udf?
p22-25:
somehow linked – transport, pedestrian, market. is the rid positioned between
transport nodes as destinations and people walk through the district, to get to
those destinations, and on their way, they buy goods displayed on the market?
the information stays a bit general and can be edited to the suit the project
more specifically.
p26: ‘four of the five interviewees operate within
the voids of the city’. that is a
beautiful and powerful sentence and might as well be the starting point for
your vision, and later udf focus. you
would need to get into the fine grain of the voids and their morphology. how do
they work, what are the rules, where are the conflicts to intervene? what can
you change for what reason? who are the players, the stakeholders? can you
shift responsibilities? create new alliances?
generally a
good body of work, well presented, with some room for improvement.
provisional
mark analysis (worth 15% of the course mark): 67%
walking in chris’ shoes
mavikane, dayar, mphafudi, letsoalo, sobuwa
p1+2: a
rather beautiful introduction that needs a bit of work at the end where you
explain your method and intention. why not name the issues that chris is
dealing with and make it part of your work: migration, stereotypes of
foreigners, crime and different types of surveillance, affordable accommodation
and (introduced later in the doc) bad buildings.
p3-5: find
out more about migration, who, from where, how many? get data and illustrate
it. as you say, chris is not alone, so what about the others? rather than only
showing chris’ corner, produce a map with his help where he indicates good and
bad places for trade in the rid, according to his understanding. maybe you find
more people and can get different maps. they might differ from the urban
genesis cartography…
p6+7:
currently not well connected to the rest of the document. if you investigate in
bad buildings (see above), you could create a new category called ‘bad open
spaces’, starting with the history of the barbican and the surrounding parking
lot, or the post office or any other sample of your choice.
land use page
seems very general. 50% coverage – is this a rule or a reality?
p8+9:
management: the layout is too busy, you need a diagram that summarizes your
narrative. work with the urban politics students, they should have that
information? again, identify conflicts that you can use to trigger change.
p10: public
and private: you elaborate on formal and informal shoe trading in the text, is
informal=illegal=public the bottom line? the sections are too generic, look
more closely at thresholds and edge conditions.
p12+13: what
database did you use to construct the map? again, section is too generic.
specify street trading through types and space those types need. what would be
the perfect size of the sidewalk incl trade? use images as material to work
with, not only as illustration. use captions.
p15:
illustrate your text in more specific diagrams. why do you change font size and
colour here?
p16-19:
affordable housing and storage: important subject to elaborate on. your
presentation needs some editing and precision: types of storage/ accommodation,
location, quality, costs.
p20:
transport map: difficult to read
p23+24: marie
and chris challenges: can this be an outline for your intervention? create
traders hotspots (water, electricity, facilities)?
in your
presentation you spoke about fatti’s building, an interesting case study. are
there many ‘bad buildings’ in the area? or empty buildings? could you design a
temporary use for them on a policy level – like: buildings are not allowed to
stay empty for more then 3 months. owners have to pay an urban
responsibility fine of x amount and join
‘urban house sitting’ initiative of the city of johannesburg…?
generally a
satisfying document with lots of potential to develop.
provisional
mark analysis (worth 15% of the course mark): 64%
one product, four traders, infinite outcomes
wadia, momberg, peens, lephondo, matsebula
p1: summarize
the meaning of the potato in the introduction. it stands for what? basic
nutrition, healthy food, common object? beautiful photos, need captions.
p2: the rid
is affected by a very large scale. what do you mean?
p3: is there
really a 95% coverage? that differs form info from the previous group with 50%
coverage? one would need to look at aerial and actually map out the morphology
of the cbd.
p4: could one
try to re-instate the old glory in a contemporary way, including informal
trading?
p6: diagrams
of the processes mentioned here would be great.
p7: again,
add a diagram of the modern foodchain…summarize what is coming on the next
pages in form of a b+w diagram.
p9:
transportation: include taxi routes.
p10-25: very
interesting material in a variety of scales. where do you go from here, where
are the infinite outcomes? you might try to draw one operational diagram that
covers the essence of your document and, most importantly, outlines a conflict
that you can use to trigger change as an urban designer. if you aim at
reconstituting eloff and pritchard to ‘symbols of prestige and quality’ (p4)
and operate on a local as well as the ‘large scale’ form p2 – what do you
propose to do? how would you practice inclusive urban design in this context?
curious to see the development.
generally
very good document that misses a conclusion.
provisional
mark analysis (worth 15% of the course mark): 70%
