de sa santos – give your project a
title which aligns with the imagining theme.
a descriptive caption with the drawing on the contents page would be
appreciated, explaining what is going on, plus where, in the image. what does this: the colour orange has been used throughout the project to reflect the
public infrastructure, mean in the intro? substitute the word works in this sentence, rich history should all be utilised in
achieving an urban design framework that works, with an urban design framework that is appropriate. source a more appropriate + relevant image to
illustrate objective 2. in re-working
the site, what happens if someone donates 3 goats or 5 cows, will these not be
accepted, or will they be culled? why limit
their numbers so explicitly? map on page
2 needs text to point out street names + magnets, like the carlton centre, pioneer
part etc. say 4th avenue
parkhurst, johannesburg on p3.
illustrate where the image on p4 is on plan and keep working on this
drawing to make it richer for the next phase.
p9 is a gem. for the next phase,
include a spatial dimension to the 4 actors and their daily lives should be
illustrated on plan. minor grammatical
error with jabu, it should read ‘visiting
his brother who stays in . . .’
in the next phase, make sure that somewhere these actors intersect with
public toilets + busstops. well executed work with a rich narrative. the urban farm theme is powerful and requires
more academic rigour.
kluth
– bridging the gap between
citizens and their city – good title. i find this density from carlton centre (231m) to rosettenville (3,5m)
confusing. are these heights? p8 didn’t offer an answer. intro + objectives are clear, but then how do
you arrive at the connection and
integration of sport, tourism and transport? is this an overview of bridging the gap
between citizens and their city? is it
possible to get p5, 6 + 7 to work together as one graphic which articulates the
desire, to then be expressed on the built form p9? p10 needs explanation as how the quote fits
to johannesburg road – perhaps talk about its current condition and what it
needs to be a great street. p12 needs a
page number and more explanation as to what, exactly, are the pedestrian
anchors and land use. graphic on p13
requires a caption to explain the street residue + vibe, like what you done on
the following two pages. make things
like comfort and image, sociability etc. specific to johannesburg road. p16 –
18 need to be demonstrated on a map/plan.
very beautiful sections. well done
work which sets the stage for next phase, framework.
mavuso – an
integrated public open space & transport corridor, is very good as a
departure point. where is the conclusion
on the contents page? try to illustrate
the last 3 objectives like you have done to first 4 on p1. p3 + 5 require captions for the images and
text on the map to point out things of interest, possible interventions
etc. p5 needs explanatory text to assist
in articulating the public transport
access to otherness theme. plan on
p6 needs text to explain what is spatially happening on the ground plus to
articulate the ecological street system.
fantastic p7. this is the
beginning of a very exciting project with strong drawings and texture. you must work harder to bring it to fruition. don’t forget to conclude. look at http://www.west8.nl/projects/master_plans/hasselt/
+ sorkin for otherness . . .
segooa – imagining
the corridor of hope is a very good title.
fantastic poem. the majesty
language reference confuses. who is her
majesty? remove the north points on p3 +
4 – they confuse rather than inform. is
it possible to see the eco-corridor, corridor of access, compatibility +
prospects on 1 drawing? the orientation
+ representation of the maps on p4 are incorrect. project is very dense and exciting, but also
very problematic. make an appointment to
see me.
simoes – where
to now is a very good title.
contents page contains no conclusion.
image on p2 needs a caption which will link it to your site. project would be greatly enhanced if you
illustrate, graphically, the objectives listed on p3. make the images on p5 larger. p6 is very good in articulating the vision. project contains stimulating vignettes of
possible public furniture and people infrastructure like the mushroom
light. is it possible that you sit, give
yourself sometime, and render a 3 dimensional image of what a chosen part of
the area might look like with its seating areas, light etc.? it would be
beneficial to see the mushroom light + bench in relation to the kerb and an
edge condition. how the seating and
greenery are combined. where the trashcans
are located next to a busstop, for
example. overall the project is very
strong but somewhat difficult to access.
why is the text so small and some of the pictures puny? i hope this will not be case when it is
printed. use the map on p10 as a base
plan. it is very good. project needs a conclusion + reference pages.
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